Nadir and Zenith
by springfieldbluebird
Summary: Set after "Twilight of the Apprentice." The Sith holocron calls to Ezra; will he be able to fight the growing darkness within him? Rated T just to be sure. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Of course I don't own these characters or make any money from this.**

 **Author's Note: This is my first Star Wars story. Please, please be kind. I have edited the holy heck out of this because I am so new to this fandom (and nervous)! I tried very hard not to make any canon mistakes, but please excuse if I did. (Wookiepedia and I have become friends and have been getting closer every day! LOL) This scene is short, but there is more to come if folks are interested. Ok...eeek...I guess this is it-read on. :)**

1

He sat on his bunk, in the Ghost, holding the holocron, watching its bloody glow light up the room. Its whisper tried to dig down into his soul. Since the disastrous mission to Malachor, Ezra had moved it to his quarters on the _Ghost_ , but he'd still felt its pull all the way across the camp.

The mood of the Rebel base on Atollon had changed since their mission. Everyone felt the loss of Ahsoka and the worry about Kanan. They were grounded indefinitely for now; Hera thought it was a good idea. After all they had lost. . . she had said it was time to regroup. And they had lost a lot. It hurt Ezra to even think about it, but he was increasingly forcing himself to face the facts. All of this was his fault. His naive desire to trust Maul had ruined everything. It had been the stupidest thing he'd ever done. He hadn't listened to Kanan or Ahsoka and he deserved...he deserved to suffer for that. But so far it was his friends who had done all the suffering.

Hera had known how he was feeling and she had tried to help in her own gentle way. "He doesn't blame you, Ezra. No one does. We can't imagine what you've been through. What we have to do is be strong for Kanan's sake. He needs us right now." He found himself lowering his head again, just as he'd done when she was speaking to him in order to hide his teary eyes. She'd tried to comfort him, but he'd pulled away and taken off, avoiding all of his comrades by hiding in an overhang of the dusty rocks until all the tears were spent.

Later on, that first day back, it had been hard to try and pretend that nothing was wrong. He'd shrugged off everyone's attempt to "talk about it." He knew he had failed as a Jedi and as a member of the rebellion. He knew what they would say and they would say it because they felt pity for him. Zeb would tell him to put it out of mind...Sabine would listen and point out how anyone could have been fooled with a former Sith as evil as Maul lying out of both sides of his mouth. Hera would provide a warm hug to remind him that they loved him, but he deserved none of it. And Kanan…his breath shook as he fought the tears. He just didn't know what to say to his master. It was impossible. What could he say? That he was sorry that his careless actions meant that Kanan was blind, probably forever? He felt today's tears finally tumble down his face and he wiped them away with his free hand. And Ahsoka. He hadn't even begun to touch the depths of that guilt yet.

And all the time, the Sith holocron had been digging into him, trying to get him to open it once again. Promising him that he would find what he was looking for. The stress of trying to ignore the whispering object on top of everything else was beginning to break him. He'd opened it once, but the evil ichor of the dark side had begun to spill from it and he'd used the Force to push it away. In fact, he felt like destroying it, but had no idea how. And even if he did know how to destroy it, would he actually do it? They might lose the only advantage they had right now. Master Yoda had sent them to Malachor to find a way to defeat Vader and his Inquisitors. The holocron had to hold the answer. If it didn't, they had lost all for nothing.

He returned his attention to the glowing pyramid on his palm, staring into its crimson depths with repulsion and dread. This had to be the way, he thought, but then again, he was afraid. If he opened it what would happen? Would the use of it draw the Inquisitors and Vader to their new base? His eyes widened in terror with that thought, and quickly, before he could change his mind, he placed its whispering evil back in his footlocker and left.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

 **A/N: I may be posting this too soon, but since Chapter One was so short, I felt like I owed you guys a little more! As before, please be kind.**

Ezra woke up with a scream, thrashing as he tried to get free of the strong grip that held him. In his dream, the glow of yellow eyes held him as a sinuous voice wound its way into his mind. Maul didn't just want him as an apprentice, he wanted Ezra's soul, his soul and his family. The dark side had won. As his eyes opened, he knew he was going to see Maul's red and black visage smirking down at him.

Instead, there was Kanan's soothing voice. "Ezra. C'mon and wake up. You're dreaming."

And just like that, Ezra found the warm comforting blanket of the Force surrounding him. It was flowing into him through Kanan's gentle touch. Unselfconsciously, he sat up and threw himself against Kanan, where his master had sat on the edge of the bed, as the tears began.

"It's ok, Ezra. Everything's going to be fine." His hand, gently searching, found Ezra's hair and smoothed it comfortingly.

"It...It was Maul." Ezra murmured against Kanan's tunic. "I keep hearing him in my mind saying these horrible things."

Kanan frowned, but kept holding his padawan tightly. There was no way he was going to let the dark side claim its prize; Ezra was his responsibility. His alone, and he wasn't about to let Maul or anyone else harm this kid. "I know." He soothed. "Let your fear of him go." He could feel Ezra's trembling-the slight residue of the dark side's poison wound its way into the young Jedi's force signature. It troubled Kanan deeply, but he refused to fear it. "Just let it go."

Without conscious thought, he began gathering the light in his mind, and wrapping it around his young padawan, forcing out the dark by sheer will. It took concentration and was a struggle due to his physical state. He pulled the light into his mind and then he extended it to Ezra.

"But this...it's all my fault." Ezra's words were muffled by Kanan's shirt and barely understandable, but the Jedi understood all through their bond. Deep feelings of guilt stirred in the currents of Ezra's mind. "It's my fault..." _that you got hurt...that you're blind._ Half of it was spoken only in the boy's mind, but Kanan read it easily.

"Stop, Ezra, stop." His voice was gentle. " _Emotion, yet peace._ " He continued gathering the Force and swathing it around Ezra, using it to banish the feelings of guilt that were ripping the boy apart. " _Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony_." He recited the code, hearing his own master's voice in his mind. " _Death, yet the Force._ " As he he finished, he heard Ezra whisper the last of it along with him, sleepily now, because the light had banished the darkness. For how long, he wasn't sure. The temple guard's words returned to Kanan once more, but he wasn't giving up on Ezra. Never.

He could feel Ezra's tremors slow and stop, and the boy's breathing became deep and even. They stayed that way, for longer moments than Kanan could count, until he sensed that Ezra was completely past danger. As he laid the boy back against his pillow and pulled the covers over him, he heard a soft sound, near the door.

His head turned by habit, trying to see who was there, until he remembered. Instead, he used the Force to sense the presence. It was Hera—her warmth and light was like a supernova. He used it to fill the empty, tired void inside of him; using the Force to help Ezra had drained him more than he wanted to admit. He'd never done anything like what he'd just done—he hadn't even known it was possible to fight the dark side in such a way. Maybe he had a lot more to learn. Maybe he wasn't finished after all. A thread of bright hope weaved its way into the dark tapestry that had seemed to surround him.

There was a slight sniffle and he realized Hera had been crying, if only just a little, and she didn't want him to know. "You love him so much." She murmured as she walked over to him.

He stood up, on shaky legs that suddenly seemed to let him down. He swayed for a moment, and she braced him. "Oh, you saw that, huh? The kid. You know. Bad dreams." He blushed.

She leaned up to press her warm lips against his own. It was a sweet, pure kiss born of love. He could feel the soft brush of her lekku against his skin and for a moment, he forgot everything. "You're supposed to be resting, love." She chided gently. They had only been back two days. She wasn't even sure how he'd found his way to Ezra's room in the darkness that was now his world. Once, she'd thought they were invincible, but now...now her faith had been shaken. Just the thought that she'd almost lost both Kanan and Ezra made her feel as if she were on the edge of an abyss about to fall.

"I had to come, Hera. It's the dark side. It's trying to take him."

"The Sith holocron?" She asked.

"Maybe just the holocron. Maybe Maul. Maybe just himself. I don't know." His voice was heavy with worry. "I can feel it...I can see it inside of him, Hera, like poison." He struggled to explain. "I pushed it away. I don't know how I did what I just did, but I think he's okay for a while. He's ours again."

Hera wrapped her arms around Kanan, and laid her head against his chest. "He's got you, and the two of you have all of us. It will be ok." When she felt he was more steady, she released him from the hug and went to take his hand to guide him. But he brought his hand up first, and his fingertips brushed the side of her cheek. She allowed him to go on, his hands working their way over the rest of her features. He'd done this several times since he'd gotten back...the first time, she'd broken down into sobs, unable to help herself at the thought that he'd never **see** again. Now she held herself together, except for the sheen of tears she wouldn't let fall.

"Just checking." He said, taking her hand again.

"For what?"

"To check if your face was the same as the light I see now when I sense you."

"You can see me?" She asked, and in his mind's eye, he saw her green eyes widen with surprise.

"In a way." It was different, now. Something new...some sense that he didn't even know he had was beginning to take the place of his lost vision—it was connected to the Force somehow, but he didn't know how to articulate it to her. . .or to anyone. "Your light. It's so bright to me."

"It must be all my love for you." She replied gently and took his hand. "Now come on. You're exhausted. We'll talk more in the morning."

He sighed gratefully and put up no arguments.


	3. Chapter 3

3

 **A/N-I forgot to tell everyone thanks so much for all the reviews. I've been hard at work on this one for this whole week. Hope the wait was worth it! Thank you for all the kind reviews. It's like Christmas each time I get one! :)**

Kanan awoke in the dark, not understanding where he was or why his head pounded so badly. At first he found himself wondering if he was waking up from a hell of a party, as he'd been used to when on Gorse, but he dismissed that quickly when he reached up to rub his forehead and felt the bandages below instead.

The reality of his situation hit him again as a crushing weight, which he tried to accept and overcome once again. Malachor. Maul. Ahsoka. His eyes. He allowed all that had happened to crash over him like a dark wave trying to fight through it to the surface.

Ezra. The dark side. Maul. Thoughts of his padawan brought him back from that black shore of grief.

This family—his family that he and Hera had created around them, didn't need to see him weakened and broken. Especially Ezra. He needed a guide more than ever. Kanan had no idea if he'd killed Maul at the temple...after the Force push, he'd been overwhelmed from the pain of his injury and so desperate the find Ezra that he'd not focused his senses to find out if the creature met his end. Was Maul still a threat? Maul had sworn to make Ezra his apprentice. And now, Ezra seemed teetering on the very edge of that precipice between the nadir and the zenith. The dark side and the light. The light would win. If Kanan had to give his very life, so be it. The light would win.

There was a soft sound which distracted him from his churning thoughts, and he felt the warmth of Hera's body as she curled up closer to him on the bed. The cool of the desert night made the tunnel barracks on Atollon cold, so he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. He felt her settle back down into her dreamless sleep, and a sudden fierce love swept over him. Without her, he would still be floating around the galaxy, planet to planet, living a meaningless life going from one party to another. She'd been the first person since his master to make life mean something to him and he had loved her ferociously, ever since he'd first heard her voice on Gorse.

He didn't know how he would find his way through the crashing waters that seemed to swamp him, but for Hera and Ezra, Sabine and Zeb he would. He owed them that much and more.

* * *

"I need your help with something." Kanan had appeared that morning at Ezra's door. "Out past the ships." Kanan wouldn't answer any questions as he let Ezra guide him through the maze of hallways and outside. After a few moments, they ended up in a natural rock amphitheater where they had sparred before. The giant reddish boulders rose up and surrounded the area on two sides, while the third was a tall rocky hill.

Kanan dropped his hand from Ezra's shoulder and set down the knapsack that he had brought with him. Inside were four Marksman H Combat Remotes. He pulled one out and handed it to Ezra.

"What are we doing?" Ezra asked, looking for the on switch to the ball-shaped training remote. He had been using them to train, but now he had no lightsaber. What did Kanan have in mind? He wondered.

Kanan reached out with the Force as he took a few steps back. He drew his own lightsaber and waited in a ready position. "Throw it. Go ahead." He took a deep breath and extended his senses outward, waiting for his opponent.

Ezra was confused. "Kanan, are you sure about this?" He understood how this exercise worked, having done it himself many times, but was a little nervous. Was Kanan ready for this? Fighting while being blind had to be different than fighting a combat droid remote with the blast shield down.

"No, but let's give it a shot."

Ezra made sure that the remote's stun setting was on low, then turned it on and tossed it into the air. "Go." He said, stepping back and watching Kanan, fascinated.

Kanan blocked the first shot, then took a beam to the shoulder. Twice more he blocked and took a shot in the arm. He growled, frustrated, but took a deep breath and continued the workout. When he seemed to become comfortable and was blocking shots with fair accuracy, he spoke. "Another one."

Ezra was surprised, but threw another remote up. Kanan missed stopping the first few shots from it. Then, he deflected four shots in a row. As he continued the graceful dance of defense, he could feel his feet gliding over the rocks-he could feel where the shot was going to be before it was there. He felt the Force, strong and ever-present guiding his moves. He gave himself over to it completely.

At the third remote that Ezra threw up, there began to be a change in the air. Ezra found himself sensing that Kanan was drawing the Force to him, using it at a level that Ezra had never seen. The air was heavily effervescent with it.

And, as soon as the Force swelled to a crescendo, it was gone. Kanan felt the Force slip through his fingers and he grappled for it like a climber trying to find purchase on the side of a cliff. It eluded him, however.

Kanan's foot immediately slipped on a loose stone, then he went down. The three training spheres shot him multiple times before Ezra hit the remote to deactivate them. He plucked them from the air, dropping them by his feet and then going to Kanan, who was down on one knee.

The Jedi had kept up with the remotes for at least ten minutes. He rubbed his shoulder, a place that had taken a couple of hits. "Guess I need a bit more practice."

"I felt something strange in the Force when you started with the third remote." Ezra said, stowing them back in the bag and pulling out a canteen of water and handing it to Kanan, who had worked up a sweat. "It was stronger than ever before."

"Yeah? I've been feeling that too." Kanan said, taking a long drink. "Maybe I'm compensating somehow. Like last night. I don't really remember how I got to your room, but I did. The Force just took me there. Then I sat with you and . . ." He paused, trailing off, not sure he wanted to tell Ezra about how the dark side had seemed to be reaching out for him. He decided not to. The kid had enough on his plate right now and to add that worry as well...it could be dangerous.

"And you got rid of the nightmare." Ezra pondered for a few moments, remembering Kanan's strong steady presence driving away the terror of his dreams. "It was pretty intense." He shivered with the memory of it.

"I'm worried about you Ezra." Kanan couldn't see him, of course, but he still turned his face toward his padawan, his forehead furrowed in worry. Ezra had been so very quiet since they'd returned from Malachor; they really hadn't had a chance to discuss anything.

"I know what you said about letting go, but there's so much of this that's my fault. Ahsoka's dead and you're blind and nothing can change that. I was so stupid. And we didn't even learn anything to help us fight Vader and the Inquisitors." The padawan hung his head.

"Look. If we don't find a way to move past this, then Maul won. Is that what you want? This isn't you, Ezra. You fight. You don't give up."

"Maybe I should give up before anyone else gets hurt." Ezra said softly.

"Ezra, close your eyes. Let the Force guide your thoughts." Kanan sat cross-legged, in a mediation position. When Ezra didn't follow suit, he said it again. "Close your eyes."

"How did you know I didn't close my eyes?" Ezra asked, mystified.

"Ezra, I'm blind. Doesn't mean I stopped being a Jedi." Kanan replied dryly. "Slow your breathing. Become one with the Force."

Ezra pulled himself into a meditation position like Kanan's, one hand on each knee and closing his eyes. Very easily, he tapped into the Force and focused on slow breathing.

As the two of them began to mediate, Ezra slowly, very slowly at first, felt that strange sense of the Force increasing in density around them. As the minutes passed, the power in the gathered Force seemed to permeate everything, including Ezra himself. It was as if Kanan's ability had multiplied exponentially. He felt himself afloat on the sea of Force-light.

Then darkness fell.

It was cold. Ezra found himself standing alone amid black rocks and a darker sky. He turned around and saw no one at first. Then he heard a voice.

"This place is older than the Sith. Older than the Jedi. The dark side of the Force is strong here." Ahsoka's steady voice came through the blackness.

Ezra turned, and Ahsoka was standing in front of him. She was dressed in pure white and smiling gently, her face shrouded in shadow within her hood. "Be careful Ezra. You walk a treacherous path." She said. "He's afraid you will fall to the dark side." She nodded to his hand, in which he held the Sith holocron.

"Ahsoka. What do I do?" He asked.

In answer, she pointed behind him. "Do the right thing, Ezra. I have faith in you."

He heard a scream and the electrical clash of lightsabers. "Noooo!" The scream was from Kanan. Hera was there also, her blaster raised and defiance in her green eyes. They both stood in front of a figure who threw back his cloak to reveal the red and black face of a demon. Maul.

"You will never take him as an apprentice." Kanan said. "You'll have to kill me first."

"If that is your wish," Maul replied, "I'll gladly oblige you." Red clashed with blue.

Ezra found he seemed welded to the ground, unable to move. The holocron in his hand opened on his palm, and blood, hot and thick spilled from it, onto his hand. He cried out and dropped it.

The battle in front of him raged. Hera got a clear shot but then was felled by her own deflected blast. Kanan surged forward. He and Maul dueled rapidly for brief moments but to Ezra's horror, Kanan slumped to the ground, impaled by Maul's lightsaber. The world tilted on its axis and Ezra attacked, the rage inside of him unleashed. He held Ahsoka's crystal white blade, ready to end Maul once and for all.

Then everything dissolved into light and heat.

"Ezra, come on, kid." Kanan's warm palm pushed back Ezra's heavy hair from his forehead. "Wake up."

Ezra groaned. Atollon's sun shone in his eyes and his head hurt. He sat up, helped by Kanan. "Wh-what happened?"

"I think you had a vision." Somehow, Kanan had found the knapsack and retrieved the canteen. "Here." He offered it in Ezra's direction.

"The Force. It's so strong." Ezra said, taking the canteen. "You. It's coming from you."

Kanan shook his head. "I don't understand it. It's like...like I have no control over the Force. It's either all there or nothing." He had heard Ezra crumple when the Force had flared. He hadn't meant to do it—he hadn't been trying to do anything at all, but the power that had been a soft glow had become the brightness of a quasar without warning. The lack of control over something he'd always been able to control was terrifying. "Are you ok?"

Ezra nodded. "Yeah. Are **you** ok?"

"Yeah. Do you remember anything?"

"Um...a lot of it didn't make sense." Ezra murmured. "I think saw Ahsoka." He shook his head. "I'm not really sure." He didn't want to say he had seen Hera and Kanan die. It would make it all too real somehow.

Kanan reached out and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. Was there any way he would be able to help his padawan with his grief? He wanted so badly to carry this burden for Ezra. "It's not your fault." He said once more. "If she were here, she'd tell you that."

"Yeah." Ezra couldn't let himself believe it. "I wish you were right."

"I know I am." Kanan replied.

Ezra didn't say anything. His mind was reeling, but he could sense that Kanan was too distracted to read him. Would his vision come to pass? Would the holocron draw Maul here? It seemed possible. Had the vision been some kind of warning from Ahsoka? He knew that some Jedi were possibly able to retain their individuality after death and visit the living. Was she trying to help him stop some horrible series of events that would lead to Kanan and Hera's death? Maybe.

Slowly an idea dawned on him. He glanced at Kanan as they began to go back toward the base, but Kanan seemed lost in his thoughts. So much the better. This plan would not put anyone at danger but himself.

And it would keep his family safe from Maul and Vader.

That was all he needed to make his final decision.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wow. Two chapters in one weekend! Hope this one lives up to expectations. Remember, these characters are not mine, and I don't get paid for this...BUT I worked really hard and reviews are my payment! If you are enjoying this, please pay up, gentle reader. ;) If you have left a review, I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you! Every review is like Christmas!  
**

4

Sabine had gotten up early, as usual, and without waking anyone, she dressed in her armor and strapped on her blaster to walk the perimeter of the base. Guards were assigned to guard duty, but she knew that they were not **her,** and while they would do their job, they would not do their job to the specifications of a Mandalorian.

As she walked through the quiet base, hearing the soft beeping of droids or displays, she couldn't help but think of the crisis her family was going through. Kanan had been blinded by Maul on Malachor. It was hard to believe that the strongest of them had been fallible after all. It had become habit to think that they lived a charmed existence. Dodging the inquisitors, storm troopers, agents and everything else the Empire could throw at them had made them feel invincible.

This whole thing was sobering. Upon seeing Kanan and Ezra return, she and Hera had realized that they were lucky just to have their comrades alive. Hera had never looked so frightened. Zeb hardly knew what to say. Ezra had just met Sabine's questioning eyes with the most sorrowful expression she'd ever seen on anyone. When Ahsoka hadn't returned, they'd all been devastated anew.

Her teeth clenched in rage and, unconsciously, her hand went to her blaster. She wanted to put one right between this Maul's eyes. It was frustrating to her, not to be able to get him. Hera had told her that Kanan wasn't sure if he'd killed Maul or not. Well, she just hoped Maul wasn't dead...maybe he would show up here and she could blow him to bits. Or tie him down and use him for target practice. It was a better end than he deserved.

She looked over as she exited the main entrance to the cave and found the guard on duty with her sharp gaze. He was staring straight ahead with such intensity that she looked in the same direction, expecting to see someone there, but there was no one. Just the empty desert and a lone dokma looking at her.

"Slow night, huh?" She asked the guard.

"I see no one." He replied in a monotone.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I see no one. I will not raise the alarm." He repeated in his sing-song voice.

"Oh kriff." Sabine knew the sound of a Jedi mind-trick when she heard it. She shook the guard, who blinked a few times and then looked at her. "What happened?!" She yelled at him.

He looked at her blankly and she growled and let go, disgusted. Who had done this? Why? There was nothing on Atollon...no where to go to…unless… "Damn!" She ran toward the _Ghost_. It was there, but the smaller _Phantom_ was gone. She turned back to find Hera. That was gonna be one pissed-off Twi'lek, she thought.

She skidded a little as she rounded the hallway, then realized Ezra's room was closer than Hera's. It would only take a minute to check and she had a hunch, so she knocked. No answer. "Ezra Bridger! Open this door now!" Still silence. She entered the master code that unlocked all the doors in the complex, the one that Ezra had taught her, and peeked inside.

One small light was on over the bed. The room was empty. Ezra's backpack was gone, the loaner blaster she'd given him was gone and it was as if he'd left for good.

"That kriffin' kid." She muttered, making her way to Hera and Kanan's quarters.

She knocked, gently at first, then more loudly. "Yes?" Hera called out.

"We've got a situation, Hera."

She waited outside, but it was not long before Hera pulled open the door and allowed her in. Kanan was sitting on the bed, wearing only combat pants. His hair tumbled forward in his face, instead of being pulled back as normal. It was obvious that the two of them hadn't been awake long.

Apparently Hera had been changing the dressing on Kanan's eyes, because the bandages were off and for the first time, Sabine was able to see some of the damage done. The skin around his eyes and eyelids was burned, as well as his eyes themselves, which used to be a beautiful blue-green. Now she saw that the damage had turned his eyes completely white. She could barely tell where his irises had been. Sabine looked at Hera, with sudden tears in her eyes, but at Hera's serious shake of her head, the Mandalorian swallowed hard and went on in as even a voice as she could manage. Meanwhile, Hera worked at applying bacta to the wounds.

"Um...Hera, I don't know how to say this..." She began, watching Hera's gentle hands tending Kanan's injuries. They were the same hands that had stitched all of them up more than once.

"Just say it." Hera said, her voice calm. Kanan winced as she touched him with the bacta pad again. "Sorry, love." She murmured. She began to apply the bacta directly to his burned eyes and he blinked the excess away. "Sabine?" Hera prompted, without turning her head.

"Oh—uh...I think Ezra has run off. I mean, I'm pretty sure he has."

Kanan's eyes and face turned toward her as she spoke. At her words, he got to his feet. "Sabine. Explain." His cloudy eyes looked in her direction, his face twisted with worry.

"Um...the...the _Phantom_ is gone. His room is cleared out. Even the blaster I gave him is gone."

"What?" Hera asked, incredulous. When Kanan turned around and began feeling his way toward the chest where their gear was stowed, she grabbed his arm. "Wait. Let me finish." Hera pushed down on his shoulder gently and he sat down. From the medkit open on the bed, Hera took a roll of bandages and began to cover Kanan's eyes once more, after using a hand to tilt his chin up.

"He used the old Jedi mind-trick on the guard so he didn't raise an alarm." Sabine added.

"I'm going to kill him. No. I'm going to get him back, then I'm going to kill him." Kanan growled, clearly growing more worried and angry by the minute. He reached out and the lightsaber, left on the nearby chest of drawers flew through the air and into his hand. He clipped it on his belt, then, he stood back up and again felt his way over to the drawers. He pulled on a shirt as Hera watched him with worry in her eyes.

"Kanan." She said simply.

"I'm going. There's no way I'm not going—so don't ask me not to." He felt his way back over to a crate near the bed and began to strap on his armor. He fumbled with the straps three times before Hera made her way over to help him.

"Okay." She said softly. "I hear you." As she finished the armor, Kanan held out a hand and his blaster whipped into his hand from the gear in the crate. He holstered it with one smooth motion. "Sabine. Please get Zeb and tell him to suit up. Meet us in the commons area in five minutes."

"You got it, Hera." Sabine hurried out the door.

When she was gone, Kanan turned his face towards her. "Hera." Kanan only had to say one word and Hera knew. She knew that he was worried, each moment that passed was only increasing his anxiety. They both knew that Ezra had been struggling, fighting the dark side. That while Ezra's heart was good, he was still young. He was still only a padawan. He was still hurting. And now he was alone. They both knew that this wasn't good.

"Can you feel him through your bond?" She asked.

"Just a little. Enough to know he's alive." Kanan said. "But I can't tell if...if he's fallen." He sat down heavily on the bed behind him. Just the idea of Ezra falling to the dark side…he let his head drop, and his warm brown hair fell forward into his face. His next words were low. "I should have known what he had planned. But this thing with the Force had me distracted." He had told Hera what had happened and how the Force felt chaotic now and hard to control. "Damn." He clenched his fists and suddenly a tremor ran through the room, shaking almost everything and startling Hera. It was as if there had been a tiny earthquake in the room. After the Force surged, it withdrew as fast as it had come. He raised his head, and realized what had happened. "Sorry." He muttered.

"You can't beat yourself up over it, Kanan. You've had a rough couple of days." She placed a hand on his shoulder. With gentle hands she began to smooth back his hair and tie it the way he usually wore it.

"Yeah." He said simply, unconvinced.

"We're going to get him back, love." She said. "See, what the dark side doesn't know is that he's ours. We've got dibs on this kid and he's coming with us no matter what." She pulled on her gloves and then took Kanan's hand. "Come on."


	5. Chapter 5

5

 **A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the kind reviews! I know how it is to wait for the next installment of a story, so I felt that posting this tonight, even though it is kinda short, would be better than having nothing at all. But...you may not feel that way when you see where Ezra is going! Please review if you liked it! :) And again, to my reviewers, thank you!**

Kanan came out of Ezra's cabin. He knew immediately that the Sith Holocron was gone; he'd known it before even checking. "It's not here."

"Ok," Hera said thoughtfully. "So this is what we know. Ezra had some sort of vision while training with you. Then, that night, he shuts Chopper down so we wouldn't be warned." Here Chopper made a series of indignant chirps and beeps. "I know Chop; I'd be mad too. Next, our little Jedi gathers supplies and mind-tricks the guard."

"I'm beginning to wish I hadn't taught him that," Kanan said.

"He takes the Sith Holocron, steals the _Phantom_ and makes his getaway. Hmmm..." Hera took Kanan's hand and led them all back to the bridge of the _Ghost. "_ Kanan? So...what reason would he have to leave and take that thing with him?"

"Maybe he's..." Kanan's jaw clenched. "Maybe...the dark side..."

"No," Hera shook her head and laid a hand on Kanan's arm. "It can't be that. It must be something else. Maybe something he saw in the vision. If we only knew what he saw or where he took off to."

"What about the Phantom's tracker?" Sabine asked. "Maybe he didn't turn it off."

Hera snapped her fingers. "Good idea." Kanan sat in the co-pilot's chair and then Hera tapped on the control panel, then she frowned. "He turned it off...but I got an initial heading." She frowned, clearly unhappy with what she saw. Hera guided Kanan's hand to the display of planetary systems. "Try to find him. I want to see if what I have corresponds to what you can find."

Kanan bowed his head and systems began to flip past his fingers on the display. Hera, Sabine and Zeb all leaned forward, watching. Eventually, his fingers settled on one.

"Oh my skies..." Sabine murmured.

"What's that kid thinkin'?" Zeb growled.

"Which planet?" Kanan asked. He couldn't read it, of course, but he felt that he had chosen the right one. "Hera? Which one?" he demanded when no one answered him.

"Malachor." Hera said softly. "The kid went back to Malachor."

Kanan sat back heavily in the co-pilot's chair. His fists were clenched, and Hera could see that he was doing everything he could to stay as calm as possible. When he next spoke, it was in a low voice. "This is going to be too dangerous. Sabine. Zeb. I want you to stay here."

"Sorry, Kanan. No can do." Zeb placed a big paw on Kanan's shoulder.

Sabine did the same thing on the other side. "We're going, so get over it." She said in a gentle voice. Both she and Zeb shared a look. They'd stayed behind last time and look what happened. There was no way they would be left behind again. "He's part of our family too."

"I agree," said Hera.

"Out-voted," Sabine said.

"Okay. But what I say goes." Kanan didn't like it, but he gave in.

"Sure thing," Zeb replied.

"Of course," Sabine agreed. "We'll probably just get there, snatch the kid up and be gone before anyone knows we're there."

Hera turned to the panel and began the pre-flight checklist. "I'm sure you're right."

"Somehow I don't think it'll be that easy," Kanan said with a frown, "but I hope I'm wrong."

* * *

Ezra stepped outside the Phantom, just as he'd done a mere few days ago. Finding what was left of the Sith Temple had been easy. Where the giant pyramid had been was now mostly a pile of rubble. With care, he maneuvered the Phantom down onto a nearby flat surface and landed.

The Sith Holocron was murmuring again. He looked at it with hatred as he stowed it in his pack. This. This was the reason they had come and the search for this knowledge to defeat their enemies had ruined everything. What had Master Yoda been thinking? He felt anger bloom like a flower of fire, and he wanted nothing more than to take his lightsaber and destroy the cursed pyramid and whatever else he found in his way.

But he didn't have a lightsaber. Vader had destroyed it. He stepped outside the ship, glancing around with caution. The broken remains were probably under that great pile of rubble somewhere. Probably with...with Ahsoka...he thought mournfully. He closed his eyes a moment, memories of his last view of Ahsoka clear in his mind. She'd been faced off against Vader as the temple crumbled around them. How could she be so brave? He hadn't been worth her sacrifice. He felt tears threaten and he tried to push the pain away.

- _Control your emotions. Fear, pain and anger lead to the dark side.-_

His master's voice was right there in his mind, and it startled Ezra. He looked around, almost expecting to see Kanan behind him. There was nothing but a cold wind, dark rocks and the echo of his own footsteps as he began walking. He'd just been feeling all three emotions: fear, pain and anger. He struggled to get them under control.

"Emotion, yet peace," he murmured, the words of the code comforting him once more. He almost heard Kanan's soothing voice, but then it was replaced by a voice of iron coldness.

 **Peace is a lie. There is only passion.**

"No!" Ezra gritted his teeth as the presence spoke from the pyramidal holocron.

 **Give up, youngling. You are nothing compared to me.**

"Not until you give me what I came for." He was finding it harder...so much harder to tune out the presence on Malachor.

 **Then you are a fool. You will be destroyed.** Then, the presence was silent.

 _Well, at least it shut up for a moment,_ Ezra thought, as he continued to trek across the barren plain of black rocks.

The Force felt different here, Ezra realized. The dark side was enormous, a giant shadow he couldn't find his way out of. But there was light, as faint and fleeting as it was. He reached for it, allowing his mind to magnify it over and over. It led him forward, and for the first time, he dared hope that he would find the information he sought here. Something to make their heavy sacrifice worth it. At any rate, he knew that, at least, the horrible vision he'd had of Hera and Kanan being killed by Maul wouldn't happen now. The holocron was safely with him, and his friends were light years away. It was not much comfort, but it was enough to keep him going. His family would be safe.

There was a side entrance to a part of the temple which had not collapsed. The light seemed to be leading him in that direction. If that was true, he wanted to go there to open the holocron and search it. If Maul showed up, he'd rather be in the place the light had led him instead of near the Sith pyramid. He'd need all the help he could get.

When he reached the pyramid-shaped entrance, the light beckoned him forward. He stopped near the entrance and rummaged in his pack until he found the glowrod. The amber light showed the way in front of him as he entered, his hand on his blaster.

It was a fairly small room, with another entrance straight ahead of him. He shined his light to the left and then to the right.

It was then that he saw a form sitting upright against the wall in a meditation position. The legs were crossed, and the figure's hands were resting on its knees. It was still, and the sound of breathing was not immediately evident in the room.

Ezra only took two steps forward before he realized.

It was Ahsoka.

He ran to her.

She was alive.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi everyone. Hope you're still enjoying this. I am trying to update pretty regularly. This chapter is not my favorite, but I think I've edited all I can edit, so I'm giving it to you. Take care of my baby. LOL! Reviews are awesome, and you are awesome for still reading!**

* * *

6.

"Ahsoka," He knelt beside her. Her battle with Vader had taken its toll. There was a huge wound across her left side. On the same angle and same side, one of her lekku had been severed about a third of the way up. Ezra knew enough about Togrutas to know this could be a critical wound. Like all lightsaber wounds, they were cauterized as soon as they happened, so blood loss wasn't an issue, but the pain had to be horrible.

He rapidly unpacked his medkit from his bag and scanned her vital signs. Then he began applying bacta and bandaging her wounds. Her face showed several smaller lightsaber cuts, as if Vader had simply been toying with her, inflicting superficial wounds in order to cause Ahsoka more pain. He applied bacta to those as well. As he worked, he found himself gritting his teeth again. Anger flared, and it was hard to keep under control.

It was as if they had been set up for failure from the start, although he didn't know why. Why would Master Yoda sent them here? Throughout his battles and adventures with the _Ghost_ crew, he'd always felt that they were invincible. They couldn't lose; the light side was strong. Defeating the Empire was possible. But now, with despair crowding his mind...now he felt adrift. He knew that they would never defeat Vader and his inquisitors no matter what they did. They had already lost to the dark side; he had never realized it until just now. He'd never felt further away from the light.

The sense of desolation seemed to grow as the moments passed. It fell over him like a shadow, obfuscating everything but itself. He looked over at Ahsoka, her face calm and composed, despite her injuries. She sat as still as a stone statue, her eyes closed and her limbs stiff. Kanan had told him of hibernation trances, but he'd never seen one before. It was as if she was a statue, her presence was gone. It made him think of death. Would all his loved ones end up like this? Cold, silent, and dead? Anxiety and fear pushed him back and forth as their black waves swept over him.

 **Ezra**.

There was a voice; he wasn't sure if it was in his mind, or had been spoken aloud, but it called from over his shoulder, from the darkness.

He stood up, turning to peer into the black opening that led deeper into the temple. While doing so, he wiped away the tears that had unconsciously began. He struggled to get his emotions under control but they were a wave of darkness and he was drowning.

 **Ezra Bridger**.

The voice came again. It was unmistakably female, deep and rich.

 **Come face me, Jedi.**

Ezra reached down quickly and pulled one of Ahsoka's lightsabers from her belt. If something was coming for him, he felt better prepared with a saber than a blaster. The dazzling white light of the weapon lit up the room, but didn't penetrate the darkness ahead.

"Who are you?" he called.

 **There is only one way. One way to save the ones you love. One way to defeat Darth Vader and his Inquisitors. Only I know this way.**

Ezra felt a shiver run through him. "The Sith are not the way," he yelled, looking around and trying to determine where the voice was.

 **Face me or see them die.**

An image of his vision was _forced_ back into his head, against his will. He saw Maul killing Hera and Kanan once more, experiencing the wretched agony of it once again. Fiercely wishing Kanan was here, he wiped at his teary eyes with his free hand, trying to look anywhere but that blackness that waited. He'd been stupid to try and bring the holocron back here to save them. The dark side was everywhere and his loved ones would never be safe, here or on Atollon. There was no way to defeat the Sith.

Every muscle in his body seemed to be telling him not to go, but slowly, his feet propelled him forward. If there was even a shred of a chance that he could save them or learn how to save them, he would have to go. For Kanan. For Hera. For Sabine and Zeb and Ahsoka.

The darkness swallowed him.

* * *

Kanan had been meditating in his room during the trip, trying to calm his churning mind and be ready for whatever they would face on this second trip to Malachor. When he knew they were close, he began to make his way back to the front of the ship, his hand following the corridor wall as he headed in what he knew to be the right direction. He was almost to the front when a wave of crushing blackness hit him. He cried out, falling to his knees.

"Kanan. What is it?" Hera was at his side in an instant.

"Ezra. It's..." He tried to regain his composure. "He's gone. I can't feel him anymore through the bond."

She tried to speak, but didn't know what to say. Instead, she wrapped an arm around him and helped him to his feet.

"We need to get there, Hera. Now." He clutched her arm with urgency.

"We're only a few minutes out." She replied, catching both Zeb and Sabine's eyes. "Gear up."

The Lasat and the Mandalorian nodded wordlessly and took off to get ready.

So there was going to be a fight, Hera thought. Well, then. If the dark side wanted a fight, she was ready. They were all ready.

* * *

Maul was meditating when he felt a disturbance in the Force. His stolen TIE was floating in orbit around Malachor, systems shut down so as not to show up on scans, and he'd been in deep meditation ever since his 'getaway.'

He explored the disturbance, realizing that someone, most likely the boy had finally come back to Malachor. He'd known the kid would be back like a moth to a flame. The dark side and the holocron had done their work.

The dark side's presence had been waiting on the empty planet since before the ancient battle. It had remained slumbering since then, but upon the destruction of the battle station and activation of the holocron, it had awakened. Maul welcomed the help in turning the boy—the presence on the planet was strong with the darkness. If everything went well, perhaps all he would have to do would be to fly down and pick up his new apprentice, once the child was forced to turn from the light.

He rose through the levels of meditation and opened his eyes with new purpose. He had been wounded in his fall from the temple, but the pain had simply been a motivator. He would have this Ezra Bridger, and, if his vision was right, he'd get a chance to kill the blind Jedi as well. Killing the boy's master would be the key to keep him under control.

He set his computer for a landing spot behind the ruins of the battle station. That way he could lie in wait for the perfect time. Once the dark presence was done with the boy, he would pick up what was left, and settle a score with the Jedi.

* * *

 **Still reading? You ARE awesome! You know what to do...write those comments and make a girl's day!**


	7. Chapter 7

7

 **Author's Note: This is a longer chapter to make up for all the shorter ones and the cliffhangers! This chapter contains the first lightsaber battle I ever wrote, so please be kind! It was hard, but I hope I did a good enough job! (-Star Wars fanfic comes with its own challenges-) One other thing: I read some sort of internet article about Malachor and D. Fiorlini described the presence on Malachor that we hear talk to Ezra in the battle-station. That's where I got my idea for the dark side/presence that speaks to Ezra here. I only mention it b/c I was worried about it possibly being confusing.  
**

 **Again, thanks to everyone for the comments. This should take about two more chapters to wrap up, but you're about to read the climax of my story. Hope it's as much fun for my readers as it was to write it. :)**

* * *

"The _Phantom_." Hera pointed out as Sabine and Zeb peered over her shoulder. "It's here." She soared through the opening in the planet's crust and landed near the smaller ship. The party armed themselves and cautiously went out, leaving Chopper behind to keep the ship on standby.

"This place is just...wrong." Sabine murmured, looking around at the bleak landscape.

"No kidding." Hera replied, feeling the same way.

"It's strong with the dark side," Kanan replied, taking up a position next to Hera. He held out his hand, searching with the Force. "This way," he said, drawing his lightsaber and moving over the uneven ground. Hera didn't fail to notice how graceful his movements were, despite being blind now. She'd been watching him the past few days and each day he'd seemed to grow more sure of himself in his movements around the base. She knew it must be the Force; strengthening his other senses maybe, or guiding him in some way. Perhaps he wasn't even aware of it, but she'd noticed.

They made their way toward a still-standing structure whose door was carved into the side of the rock. It looked like part of the original Sith Temple, with a pyramidal shaped entrance.

"It feels different this time," Kanan turned his head to Hera. "There's something here. Something more dangerous."

"It's gonna find out that _we're_ dangerous too," Zeb growled, tightening his grip on his bo-rifle.

The talk stopped the nearer they were to the entrance. Hera gave the signal for a flanking move on the doorway. Hera and Kanan entered the room first, followed by Zeb and Sabine. The light from Kanan's weapon was enough to light up the room; what it revealed caused them all to stop in their tracks.

"Oh Kanan," Hera breathed. "It's Ahsoka."

Hera and Kanan knelt beside her body while Sabine and Zeb covered the room and entrances. Ahsoka's many injuries were plain for all to see and Hera feared the worst.

"She's dead, isn't she?" Hera asked, her voice catching in her throat. Ahsoka was cold and pale. She wasn't breathing, at least as far as Hera could tell.

Kanan placed his hands on Ahsoka's arm and shoulder gently. He bowed his head and searched for her consciousness with the Force. He shook his head. "No. She's in a hibernation trance; she's still alive."

"What do we do?" Hera whispered.

"I'm not sure," Kanan said. "I've never seen someone do this for this long before; I've only heard stories. If she's been like this since after her fight with Vader, then she's gonna need medical attention. She could die of dehydration."

"Someone's bandaged her up," Sabine said, moving around to a better position to watch the darkened doorway. She kicked Ezra's backpack with her foot. "Ezra. His pack's here."

Kanan's brow furrowed in concentration. If Ezra had bandaged her wounds and took time to care for her, wouldn't that show that he hadn't fallen to the dark side? It was a small sign of hope. "Zeb, Sabine," he said, "I need you to get her back to the _Ghost_. Take her to the med bay and start IV fluids."

Zeb and Sabine looked at each other, but got moving when Kanan ordered, "Now." The note of command in his voice was unchanged and, as they had promised, they followed orders. Ahsoka's body was stiffened, but not locked, and Zeb was able to lift her up in his arms easily and carry her back toward the _Ghost_ , with Sabine covering him.

"Use the com if you need us. We'll come running."

"You bet." Kanan said, with no intention of calling them. Whatever happened, Zeb and Sabine would be safer on the Ghost than with him.

"Ezra's in there, isn't he?" Hera asked, shivering.

"Yeah." Kanan stood, turning instinctively toward the opening that led deeper into what was now the ruined temple. He could feel the dark side...a malevolent current that flowed in everything here. It even seemed to be trying to press in upon his mind. Scrabbling to gain purchase in his very soul. He shook it off as best as he could.

"There's no use asking you not to go, is there?" Kanan said, reaching out for Hera's hand with his free hand.

"Nope," she replied. He could see her in his mind, raising an eyebrow at him, a half smile brushing her features. For a moment it banished all his fears. "Let's go get our kid."

Just as he'd done before, he began drawing the light side of the Force to him, calling upon its increased presence. With every breath it grew stronger and stronger, until it gathered within him to such a point that he felt blinded anew from the glow. Hera watched in amazement as some of the small rocks around them began to levitate. "Kanan..." she began.

"I know." He replied, feeling the Force surge inside of him as he began to walk forward. "No matter what happens, stay behind me."

* * *

Ezra had cut through several large webs on his way down the dark hallway. The chittering of the fist-sized spiders as they retreated had made him uneasy, like the spiders on Atollon. By the time the hallway had opened out onto a large chamber, the barrage of darkness against Ezra's mind had become unbearable. He looked around, as far as he could see in the darkness for the source, but saw nothing.

The room looked like a burial chamber. There was a stone sarcophagus in the middle of the room with a carved figure on the lid. The figure was female, and she wore robes, but her features were obscured, chipped away by time into only the blunt likeness of a human. He wondered if the voice he heard had belonged to this woman, or whether it was simply the dark side.

Slowly a blacker than black human-shaped shadow formed in the center of the room. It seemed to devour the light from Ahsoka's lightsaber as it grew.

 **You should kneel before your betters, apprentice. If you do, I shall let you survive so you can serve the dark side.**

Ezra shook his head. "Never." He held Ahsoka's lightsaber protectively in front of him, trying to beat back his fear with sheer force of will.

 **So innocent. The dark side will take all you love from you.**

"You said...you said I could save them." He didn't believe it, but it was all he had to cling to.

The blackness came on lightning fast. It was a shadow, insubstantial, passing around and through him. He could feel it batter his mind. **Serve the dark side and I might allow your crippled master to live, boy. Swear your loyalty to me, if you care about them. It is the only way you'll save them.**

Ezra shook his head again. "I will never turn to the dark side." He slashed at the darkness, but it was like trying to cut through the air—ineffective.

Ezra was lifted into the air; he felt the ebony coldness burn him as he was tossed against the rocky wall and then fell to the floor. Then he was subjected to another mental attack. Something was trying to tear its way in.

 **Give in or you will die.**

 _NO!_ He wasn't sure if the scream was out loud or only in his mind.

 **Give into your anger and fear. The dark side will give you the power you need to save them.**

"You lie!" Tears streamed down Ezra's face. He wouldn't fall for this trick. When he'd come here, all he'd wanted to do was to save his family. To make their sacrifice mean something. To find a way to defeat the dark side. Now it seemed there was no chance of any of it.

 **I could make you powerful enough to defeat Vader. You could take his place.** The dark side was holding it out like a lure. For a moment, Ezra tried to imagine what that would be like. He, having the same power as Vader or even the emperor. He hated what they stood for and if he was in control, things would be different. But he knew that was the trick. He would take the power for good, but it would be perverted to evil. Nothing the dark side touched could ever be clean.

"Never." Ezra dropped to his knees as he felt pain cripple his mind, Ahsoka's lightsaber falling from his numb hands. Not being able to intimidate or frighten him into falling to the dark side, it was using its last, worst weapon. Pain. Escape was impossible. Yielding to the shadow of the dark side was impossible. Endurance of the pain was impossible. It poured in upon his consciousness, trying to break him. He screamed wordlessly until his voice gave out, curling in upon himself and gratefully embracing nothingness when his body could take no more.

Maul entered from the opposite side of the room. The boy was on the floor, a small huddled mass. He could feel the satisfaction of the dark presence in the room as it withdrew, and was sure if the child hadn't been broken, it wouldn't take much more from him to do it.

He walked across to the would-be-jedi-padawan and knelt down. Ezra was powerful, but the dark side's presence here had been stronger. Upon first seeing the padawan, Maul had sensed the chaos, the anger, and the pain that was hidden within. He knew it would serve the dark side well. He reached out, his black gloved hand stretched out in front of Ezra's face. The boy's consciousness shrank back from the touch of the former Sith lord's mind. He stood, satisfied. "Get up." He snarled. "Get...up." He stood up and kicked the boy hard with his foot. Still no response—not even a whimper. "You're coming with me. You **will** be my apprentice—one way or the other." He started to reach down to snatch Ezra to his feet when someone interrupted him.

"I thought I told you we come as a set," Kanan's voice, full of anger, sent a visible shock of surprise through Maul. Kanan had both heard and felt Ezra's scream as soon as he'd passed the curtain of darkness at the hallway's entrance, and they had come at a run. Maul turned his yellow gaze toward them and drew his double edged saberstaff.

Hera stepped back, drawing her blaster. So this was Maul, the creature that had so terribly wounded **her** boys. She fired, three center-body shots that Maul deflected with his lightsaber. The creature opened his fist and the blaster flew from Hera's grip into his hand. The red-and-black-skinned monster slung it away into the darkness with one motion and threw Hera back against the wall with another. Satisfied that the Twi'lek would be no more trouble, he turned his attention to the more immediate threat.

"You again? Really? The **blind** Jedi?" he sneered as he faced Kanan.

"You thought you struck me down, but you only made me stronger." Kanan found that he could see Maul, in a fashion. The red pulse of his evil soul was outlined in front of him. Below him was a faint murky light...Ezra. The motionless form worried him, but he couldn't allow himself to be distracted. He centered his attention on the Zabrak. "Let's get this done."

Maul feinted to the left, then attacked to the right. Kanan blocked it easily. It was slow at first, with Maul trying different attacks to see how Kanan reacted. The Jedi anticipated each before it happened and parried the blows, letting the Force guide his actions.

"Surprising," Maul commented as he sped up his aggressive attack, using Juyo and both ends of his saberstaff to force Kanan to respond more quickly in hopes of tiring him out or seeing him make a mistake.

Hera slowly worked her way around them toward Ezra, who was slumped onto the floor. As she did, however, her eyes never left Maul and Kanan's battle: the blinding speed back and forth across the floor—Kanan, blocking his opponent's aggressive attacks and Maul, never letting up for a moment. Sensing an opening, Kanan slashed Maul across the chest and then retreated, his saber held over the head in perfect Soresu position to parry any attack his opponent might make.

"Form three. Very effective." Maul commented casually, gathering himself for another attack.

"Shut up and fight." Kanan replied, drawing even more on his new connection to the Force. Pebbles and smaller rocks began to levitate upwards again due to the incredible amount of Force energy in the room. The very air itself seemed to vibrate.

It wasn't like this last time he fought the Jedi, Maul realized. He **WAS** stronger. It was distracting enough to Maul for Kanan to cut him again, this time along the arm. The creature growled in pain, then used his pain in a blitz, a relentless flurry of advances, that left Kanan no room for another attack.

They were in close quarters, now, and Maul's tactics were growing increasingly chaotic. After taking a wound along his swordarm, Kanan used a Force push to gain some distance and a respite.

"Are...we getting...tired?" Maul asked.

"I can go...as long as you can, Grandpa," Kanan replied. Maul shoved the Force at Kanan and the Jedi went flying through the air. He slammed against the wall, hard, then went down on one knee. As he slid down the wall, the dressing covering his eyes had come loose and he pulled it away angrily. He got to his feet and his ready position, trying to push the distracting anger away.

"I sense...fury...and revenge? For shame...That's not the Jedi way." Maul smiled, showing his pointed teeth as he and Kanan crossed saberstaff to lightsaber, each pushing on the other. With a tiny movement on the hilt of his saber, Kanan caused his blade to drop down and slice Maul's arm once more. It threw off the former Sith and he started to retreat quickly, but stumbled over the uneven ground. Kanan took his chance and stabbed Maul through the chest, point first. Maul fell to his knees, his disengaged weapon rolling harmlessly away.

"I'm Jedi enough to defeat you," Kanan replied, teeth clenched. He growled, raising his lightsaber to sever the creature's head from the neck, but he stopped short. Maul was now unarmed. The dark side, the pervasiveness that filled the very air on this hellish planet was starting its work on him. The fury he felt began to melt. He deactivated his lightsaber, knowing Maul was finished. The Zabrak's body lurched and fell to the ground. As Maul died, Kanan felt the dark side's presence reappear and grow stronger.

 **Your apprentice will fall and he will be ours. Anger and pain will be his undoing.**

"People keep telling me that, but they've been wrong so far." He muttered, shoving the presence out of his mind and drawing the light side of the Force closer to him like a cloak.

"Kanan..." Hera's soft voice startled him, and he turned toward her. She was kneeling by Ezra's crumpled form. Placing her hand against his pale cheek, she received no response. His skin was cold and clammy.

He knelt beside his padawan. "Ezra. C'mon kid. Wake up." He reached out with his hand and smoothed back the dark hair. When there was no response for him either, he turned to Hera. He still sensed the rising presence of the dark side on the planet and he didn't want to be here any longer than he had to. Maul was dead, but there was something else here. Something stronger and more evil. "We've got to go." He drew his blaster and handed it to her, then he gathered Ezra into his arms. "I'll follow you back to the ship. Don't stop, no matter what."


	8. Chapter 8

8.

 **A/N: Ok, I said maybe two chapters left in this story, but I think there might be a few more. We've got Ahsoka to deal with, so there may be a whole other story in here! Don't lose hope! :) Thanks for all the kind words on this story. Maybe I have another one bouncing around in my head when I'm done with this one.**

* * *

Kanan placed Ezra on the second bed in the small med bay just as the Ghost lifted off. He was surprised to find that he could literally feel the horrid aura of the place lessen the further away they got from it. He reached below the table, clumsily now because he'd lost his hold on the Force sight he'd used earlier. Being a conduit for that type of power was draining physically and mentally, and at this point, he could not continue it. Finally, his hand found a blanket and he tucked it around his padawan.

"Can you scan his vitals?" Kanan asked Zeb, who was monitoring Ahsoka in the other bed.

"S-sure." Zeb sounded shook up. Seeing Kanan's wounds, and the kid pale and unresponsive was sobering. "What happened in there, Kanan?"

"Maul. The dark side..." Kanan closed his eyes. He shook his head at a loss for words. After several beeps of the scanner, Hera entered. Zeb immediately moved aside for her, knowing she was the best qualified out of all of them when it came to the medbay.

"Thanks Zeb." She touched him on the arm as he passed by and they shared a silent look, then she moved on to the scanner. "A broken rib and a contusion on the side of his head. Other than that, his vitals look stable." She began gently cleaning the deep cut on Ezra's scalp.

Kanan's face was turned downwards toward Ezra, but Hera could still see the tightening of his expression and the flash of anger that flushed his features. "Maul was kicking him when we came in."

"Bastard," Hera muttered. She finished her work, then turned to Ahsoka, tapping the other medical hub. "Ahsoka's still asleep. Her heart rate is extremely slow."

"I think that might be normal for a hibernation trance," Kanan offered. "But I'm just guessing."

"When will she wake up?"

"I'm not sure. She might have used the trance to lengthen her chances of survival on Malachor...or to escape the...presence on the planet. It was pretty intent on going after me, and probably Ezra and any other Force users." Hera noticed his hands moving to rest on Ezra's arm and shoulder protectively.

Hera let out a sigh. "Okay. So we might be in for a bit of a wait on both of them?"

"I'm going to try and contact Ezra using the Force." Kanan smoothed back his padawan's hair, his face turned towards the boy once again. It was then that Hera saw the wound on Kanan's arm from Maul's saberstaff.

"Not yet." Hera reached across Ezra and took Kanan's hand gently. "Your arm..." she explained. Then she looked into his eyes, able to see them now that he'd lost the bandages. They were not that peculiar shade of blue-green anymore—the scar tissue had turned them white. It made her sad. He couldn't see her or the expression on her face, so she pushed back the sadness and evened her voice. "You need some tending, yourself, you know."

He didn't argue, knowing she was probably right. As she led him to the common room and sat him down, he realized that he had pushed the pain somewhere else and hadn't even known he was hurt. Now that the adrenaline rush was abating, he felt the agony of a lightsaber wound returning. The burned flesh ran the length of his forearm and he could feel it like molten metal on bare skin.

Hera left, then returned with medical supplies. "It's a little tight to do this in the med bay right now," She explained. She had him hold his arm up, the inner part of his forearm facing toward her and applied bacta as gently as possible. "It'll be painful for a few days," she paused, finding his unseeing gaze with her own. "Your eyes look better. No infection, but I'll get to them next."

"What do they look like?" Kanan asked as she bandaged his arm. "Are my good looks still there or do I need to wear a bucket?" He raised an eyebrow, trying to lighten the question with humor and all of a sudden wishing he hadn't asked. He'd seen lightsaber burns before. He had to look hideous.

"They're still blue-green," She said softly. "The shade of the ocean in the afternoon when the sun hits it."

A half-smile touched his lips. "You're a good liar, Hera Syndulla."

"Yeah?" She asked, using a new bacta pad to apply the same medicine to his eyes and not missing a beat. "Well, I learned it from this gunslinger I met on Gorse."

"Nice guy?"

"Yeah, the best," she murmured back. Then, more seriously: "They're not that bad. You're still the most attractive Jedi I know."

"I'll try not to remember I'm the only Jedi you know." He smiled at her, leaned over and found her lips with his own.

It was then that they heard screaming from the medbay. It was Ezra.

* * *

Zeb had stayed behind to monitor Ezra and Ahsoka. When they entered the room, Hera saw Zeb in the corner in a heap. "I tried to wake him up when he started screaming and..." He held both hands up to show his position on the floor. "He pushed me with the Force."

"Shhhh..." Kanan felt his way to the bed and placed his hands on Ezra's shoulders. Ezra screamed and tried to jerk away from the touch, curling in on himself. He was shaking violently, squeezing his eyes shut. Tears flowed down his face.

Kanan tried to use the Force to read his padawan's mind, but he found a wall when he tried to enter. As his attempt to calm the boy was not working, Kanan gathered Ezra into his arms. Ezra struck at him blindly. Soon, his blows weakened and he sagged against the Jedi, letting out a heartbreaking wail that seemed never ending.

Hera ushered Zeb to the door and told him to inform Sabine about what had happened and to give them some time alone. Then she returned. "Can I help?"

Kanan still held Ezra close. The padawan was now softly crying against his shoulder. "Ezra. Shhh...Okay. It's okay," he soothed, then Kanan turned his face in Hera's direction. "Help me get him back to my quarters."

The Jedi picked the boy up easily and carried him to his own room with Hera leading the way, guiding him with her voice. He tried to place Ezra in the bunk, but the boy clung to him, so the he crawled in, taking his padawan with him. They sat upright on the bed, Ezra still sobbing helplessly with his face pressed against Kanan's shirt.

"Oh my god. He must be terrified." Hera sat on the bed with them, placing a hand on Ezra's back and rubbing small circles. Her heart was breaking for him. "Ezra. We're here for you. You're safe."

Despite his exhaustion, Kanan began drawing upon the Force, using it to ease the panicked terror of his padawan and bring him back from the edge of whatever darkness was driving him mad. Hera could almost feel the warmth radiating from Kanan and it made her heart feel stronger again.

Ezra's shaking began to slow and the tears became sniffles. "You're home," Kanan said softly. "It can't hurt you anymore."

"I s..ss..aw you all d-dead." His words were broken and stilted and he didn't raise his eyes, as if afraid of what he might see.

"We're okay, kid," Hera added, placing her hand on his shoulder again. Ezra turned to look at her and she saw the terror wasn't all gone in his eyes yet, but he was better. Ezra's face was still too pale and his eyes, usually dark blue, looked almost black with panic.

"It's going to come for all of us..." His voice was hoarse and strained. "It tried to…I couldn't let…. I…."

"Stop," Kanan spoke gently, but firmly. "No more explaining. Just rest. That's all. I'll watch over you."

Kanan's eyes closed and Hera knew he was concentrating deeply on the Force by the look on his face. After a few moments, Ezra laid his head against Kanan and closed his own eyes. Hera could tell he was falling asleep by the way his body began to relax.

"Kanan. You are amazing."

"Not bad for a gunslinger town drunk from Gorse." He moved Ezra to a more comfortable position against his shoulder, which solicited a protesting noise from his padawan, who was still clinging to him like a swimmer in deep water, refusing to let go, even in sleep.

"Not bad." She admitted, admiringly.

His unseeing eyes found her own somehow, as she moved to go. "Stay here. Please," his low voice entreated her.

Hera tucked her feet beneath her and leaned against his other shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. After a few moments, her eyes became heavy. Peace and calm seemed to radiate from Kanan and before she knew it, she was asleep too.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

 **A/N: Well, it's that time again. Update time! Hope you guys are still liking this! Please drop me a comment and let me know what you think. Reviews cause inspiration...inspiration causes chapters to be written. Next chapter or so: Ahsoka. *dramatic theme music!***

Ezra awoke in his own bed in the Rebel headquarters on Atollon, but he had to focus on the ceiling for a few moments, before realizing he was back home. He sat up quickly and it was then that he noticed Kanan nearby.

The Jedi was meditating, his eyes closed and hands on his knees. With his own abilities, Ezra could sense the Force radiating off of Kanan. It was like an ocean of light, the waves holding Ezra up.

As he stood up, a pain shot through his side and he groaned and sat back down heavily. A dull pulse of pain beat in his head. He'd been wounded, he realized as he touched the sore spot hidden by his hair. He saw that Kanan's arm was bandaged as well. Slowly things came back to him. The nightmares. The dark side pouring in upon him, suffocating him. Maul. Malachor, and then Kanan's presence protecting him.

"Ezra." Kanan opened his unseeing eyes and turned in Ezra's direction.

Ezra said nothing, but knelt beside Kanan on the floor. Before the older Jedi knew what was happening, Ezra threw himself against Kanan in a fierce hug. He returned it, hearing the soft but gentle sounds of Ezra's tears. These were different than they had been last night. Before...Ezra had been terrified and not able to control what was happening in his mind. These tears...they spoke of loss and sadness beyond comprehension for one so young.

Kanan wasn't sure he could still cry until he felt similar tears trace lines down his own face. "I'm sorry, Ezra," He spoke into the top of his padawan's hair. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"I thought you would die...Hera too...if I stayed here with the holocron. I **_saw_ ** it."

"Your vision," Kanan realized.

"Malachor was the only place I knew to take it. I..." He stopped, suddenly remembering. "Ahsoka?!"

He searched Kanan's pale eyes.

"She's in medical. She's alive and would have died on Malachor if not for you." He searched Ezra's feelings and still found guilt and sadness still there. Every time he thought they made progress, the dark side came creeping back in. But it didn't matter; he would fight it every day if he had to. "Ezra. Sit."

Wordlessly his padawan obeyed, sitting the same way, in a meditation pose.

"Close your eyes, and center yourself in the Force."

"What are we doing?"

"Be patient and you'll see. Now concentrate." At the note in his voice Ezra found himself obeying without thinking.

Ezra found the river of Force easily, the river of light flowed around and through them. The physical pain he'd felt faded away as the waves flooded his senses. Kanan sat in front of him, and his light was brighter than Ezra had ever seen. "Wow," he whispered to himself.

"Use our bond. Connect with my mind."

"I'll try."

Ezra felt the Force flowing through their bond much easier than ever before, and all of a sudden, he seemed in a different zone. In his mind's eye, he saw images of people and places that were not his own. They flowed faster than Ezra could understand them, and at his confusion, they dissolved and he was standing in a great hallway, in the biggest building he had ever seen.

He turned around, taking it all in. He thought he was alone, at first, but then slowly he noticed robed figures walking through the hallway, alone or in pairs. Rooms and columns lined the hallway almost as far as he could see. Sunlight sparkled on the polished inlaid marble floors. Wherever this was, it was pretty awesome, in Ezra's estimation.

None of the people in the great hall seemed to notice Ezra standing in the middle of the floor, turning slowly to take it all in. He began to examine the figures more closely and noticed they all had lightsabers… "They're Jedi..." he said in amazement.

"Yes." Ezra turned and saw Kanan standing behind him. He was a younger version of himself, but easily recognizable. He had the same brown hair and blue eyes. "This is...was...the Jedi Temple on Coruscant." Kanan was dressed in robes like the others and had a padawan's braid. "The temple as I remember it, at least."

Ezra saw, but also felt a deep sadness through their bond. Kanan had told him about the Jedi Temple and its fall. Ezra knew that almost everyone Kanan had known as a youngling and padawan had died, many of them in this place. He looked down, not knowing what to say. "It's...it's a beautiful place." He managed, sensing Kanan's feeling of loss.

"It was," Kanan agreed. "I came to the temple at a young age, so it's all I remember. It was home to me."

Ezra nodded, feeling the deep peace of the place, or at least Kanan's memory of the deep peace he'd felt here. "It..it makes you sad, too." He said softly.

"It does." Kanan reached out, placing a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Here I was a padawan. I..." He looked around, his blue eyes wide and touched with more innocence than Ezra had ever seen. He realized suddenly that this was Kanan before. Before Order 66, before the death of his master, before being hunted by the Empire. At a time when he thought life was going to be different. He studied Kanan's face closely. "I had many ideas of what life would hold for me when I was here. This is where I learned to fight. This is where I saw my Master for the first time. This is where I learned what being a Jedi meant."

"I wish I could have studied here." Ezra said. "I would have probably been a better padawan."

Kanan shook his head. "But you wouldn't be you. Our path is our path, Ezra. It is okay to remember the past, even with some sadness and regret, but one can't live in the past or in the what-might-have-been. What is, is what must be."

Ezra sensed a lesson here and allowed himself to think on it.

Kanan raised an eyebrow. "The old Ezra would have a hundred questions when I said something like that."

Ezra looked up at Kanan. "I don't think I'm the same as the old Ezra anymore."

"In that case..." he knelt down and looked Ezra in the eye, "I have one more thing to show you."

"Okay." Ezra nodded, eager to find out more about his master. The two of them knew each other pretty well, but they had never used their master-padawan bond in this way before. He had known that some Jedi had been able to read minds, or to see into other's minds, but didn't know it would be like this.

The scene slowly shifted to a nighttime desert landscape. There was a fire and Ezra could make out his master's features as he sat there holding a familiar square-shaped holocron. He resembled the version of himself from the temple, complete with padawan braid. There was a beautiful, but serious-looking female Jedi sitting beside him, in meditation position.

"Your master," Ezra breathed. He'd heard a lot about Depa Billaba, but had never seen her.

"Yes. This was our last mission together."

All of a sudden, the Chalactan woman reached out for the younger Kanan's arm. Immediately Ezra could tell something was wrong. The clone troopers that had been gathered around the camp had suddenly arose, as if of one mind, and began training their guns on the two Jedi.

Ezra was speechless as the rest of the scene played out. He watched Kanan and Billaba fight off as many troopers as they could. An entire battalion turned on them in a matter of seconds. He heard Kanan's master order him to run. Kanan hadn't wanted to, that was clear on his face, but he'd followed orders, scrambling up a hill. Then one of the troopers tried to cut Kanan's escape route off. Billaba had turned to stop him, and ended up shot in the back, more than once.

Slowly the scene began to fade in front of them. Without a word, Ezra turned and hugged Kanan. The Jedi sighed deeply and returned it, then slipped down on one knee again to meet his padawan's eyes.

"She died. She died saving me," he said simply, an indescribable sadness on his features, "and I left her."

"But you were doing what she told you…There's nothing you could have done..." Ezra said, tears tracking down his cheeks. He'd known what happen to Kanan's master...but he hadn't really _known_. Even though Kanan was trying to mute it so it wouldn't come through the bond and harm Ezra, the pain, rage, sorrow and regret were still there, as fresh as that day.

"I left her." Kanan said again. "I should have stayed."

"You were just a padawan," Ezra said firmly. "You can't blame yourself."

"Can't I?" There was a sad twist to Kanan's smile that took this lesson and made the moral crystal clear for Ezra.

"You're saying that this is like...like Malachor..."

"Isn't it?" Kanan asked softly, his blue-green eyes searching Ezra's face to see if his lesson was understood.

Ezra nodded, sighing heavily. "The new Ezra has a lot of thinking to do."

"You are the best padawan I could have ever hoped for, Ezra." Kanan reached out and placed both hands on Ezra's shoulders and then they were everywhere and nowhere at the same time, floating on the light filled ocean that was the Force.

Then Ezra opened his eyes. "Thank you, Kanan."

"For what, kid?" Kanan took a deep look at Ezra with his force-sight and saw that much of the darkness that he'd been trying to fight off of his padawan was falling away. Ezra's light was brighter and more pure and it eased Kanan's mind considerably.

"For showing me that. I understand. At least I think I do." There was a lot to think about. Ezra realized how hard that must have been, for Kanan to relive that terrible memory, so he was going to do the best he could to take this lesson to heart.

"Then you're very wise. It took me years to figure that out and I didn't want you to go through the same things I did." Kanan couldn't help it; he felt a fierce love for the kid that he couldn't explain. It was beyond words.

There was a soft knock at the door. It was Hera. "You two ok In here? We haven't heard a peep out of you for three hours." She didn't tell them that she'd looked in on them several times during that time.

Ezra answered first. "Yeah. We're good."

She blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected that response. Ezra had been almost silent since their first trip to Malachor. He'd not smiled or laughed since before then, but here he was _smiling_...ok, it was a small smile, but it was a _smile_ nonetheless. She shifted her gaze to Kanan, who had a satisfied look on his face. Something had gone very well. She was curious. "Well, good. Anyone hungry? It's after midday."

Ezra stood up, realizing he was very hungry. "Actually, I'm starving."

"Sabine and Zeb are up in the commons area. Go on. We're on our way."

"Kid looks...better," Hera said, waiting until Ezra left.

"Yeah." Kanan stood up, then reached out and felt Hera's warm hand join his own. "Hera. I won't let him _fall_ to the dark side. I won't."

"He won't. He has you." She threw an arm around his waist and squeezed.

"I hope that's enough."

"It is. Now come on. Even Jedi Masters have to eat. Sabine and Zeb have a lot of questions for you. They understood that you had to be with Ezra, but they're about to burst to hear about the fight they missed out on."

"Any change with Ahsoka?"

"No. Rex hasn't left her side, and we've all been checking on her throughout the day."

"Okay." Kanan nodded. "I might have an idea to help her."

"Oh yeah?" She said, still guiding him with her arm around his waist. She could see Ezra talking to Zeb and Sabine ahead of them and it made her heart lift. "So spill it."

"I will, but later. For now..." He actually nodded in the direction of the little trio of their family ahead. It made Hera wonder just how much he _could_ see with the Force.

"Yeah. Let's enjoy things getting close to normal for a little bit." Hera felt hope, strong and swift, take flight in her heart once more. It was the first time since Malachor since her family had been truly _home._ And she liked that a lot.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: I wrote this chapter over and over three times! It was so much harder than I thought it would be. This is my final draft. I might write a little epilogue to this story. Also, I hope you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun for my first "Star Wars" story. Please review if you liked it! :)**

10.

It was late in the day, and Hera had talked Rex into getting something to eat and taking a few minutes off from watching over Ahsoka. The old soldier had given up trying to wake his friend, but instead taken up a silent vigil by her bedside. The nurses and medical droids were saying things that none of them wanted to hear. That Ahsoka had given up. That her systems were shutting down, as if she'd lost the will to live. Hera had told Kanan about it this morning, and it was then that he decided what to do.

As Kanan sat there, quietly listening to the hum of the machines monitoring her heartbeat, breathing and blood pressure, he reached out for her hand, laying on top of the sheet. Her fingers were cold, like death in his gentle grip. He wondered if what he was about to do was wise. Probably not. Would it stop him? Most definitely not.

Had Ahsoka become lost in her own interior world? Had she gotten lost in the deep currents of the Force? Did she believe she was still back on Malachor? Perhaps this had been one way to tune out the voice of the aphotic darkness that existed on that planet.

"Force, I need some help here." He muttered as he took her hand in both of his own and closed his eyes, finding the waves of the Force answering his need. He immersed himself in its glow and felt the welcome calmness of it.

His mind floated in that tide for long moments, then he reached out for Ahsoka. As before, with Ezra, he was suddenly assaulted by a wave of images, sounds, smells and sensations—she was furiously, frantically trying to communicate with him. He winced at the pain; Ahsoka's spinning world flew around him in a maelstrom of memories and experiences so quickly that it hurt.

 _Ahsoka...please slow down._ He reached out, trying to grasp the images more slowly so he could comprehend them.

The world stopped and he was standing on the Grand Promenade in the Jedi Temple. This time was different, though. It was night, a mild Coruscant night turned to nightmare. Around him were the dead of the past.

They lay where they'd fallen after Vader and his troops had killed them—lightsabers in hand, eyes open and unseeing. The smell of blood and burning flesh was in the air. He'd heard the stories and seen the horror-filled, blood-soaked holonet images of it, flashes that burned into his mind before he could avert his gaze. Deeper in the temple, he could hear the sounds of blaster fire and screaming. Everywhere around him was the contamination of the dark side.

"Ahsoka. Please." He turned around, sensing Ahsoka's feelings of horror and desolation. He closed his eyes, trying to shut it all out and reach for her-her spirit. After a few moments, silence fell.

He opened his eyes and he was sitting in a quiet meditation hall, across from Ahsoka. They were the only two in the whole room, sitting similarly: cross-legged with hands on their knees.

She was luminescent with the Force, deeply immersed and protected as she looked past him to some place he couldn't see. He looked around him, at the shining marble floors of the Jedi temple, at the vaulted roof and then at the windows. Blackness, occasionally broken by wisps of evil faces, hammered at them; the thumps against the shatterproof glass were the only noise in the room. It was the dark side, trying like it always did to get in.

"You are not a trick of the dark side this time, are you?" She spoke softly, not looking at him but at the darkness outside.

"No." He replied. "It's not a trick. You're safe."

Her eyes shifted to him instantly and her visage filled with distrust. "Malachor is not safe. Something...foul with the dark side has awoken there."

"I know. Ezra found you and we rescued you. You're okay. You don't have to hide here." He gestured around them.

She reached out with both hands and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him closer. She studied his eyes and he could feel the strength of her Force signature sweep over and through him as she searched for any hint of falsehood. Finding none, she nodded, and he could visibly see her relax.

A particularly loud thump startled the both of them. "What's out there?" Kanan asked.

"The past. The truth. And lies. The dark side." She said as she turned and saw a face among the others, a particular face with brown hair and red and gold eyes. In a moment it had vanished and she shuddered. "I can't leave this safe place. Malachor is crawling with the dark side."

So, she **was** hiding here for protection from whatever that evil place and Vader had put her through. He remembered all too clearly the feeling of evil on that planet. In her mind, the mental battle had turned into an assault on the fortress of her meditation. "Ahsoka. Vader is gone. You are safe." He reached out and placed a hand on her arm.

She laughed so bitterly that a chill went through Kanan. Her eyes flashed as she looked up at him again. "Vader...will never be gone." She bowed her head and seemed to be gathering herself for something. "Kanan. When I attacked An-...um Vader..." She took a deep breath. "I slashed his helmet with my lightsaber. I saw...what was underneath..." She reached out and grabbed his arm and shared the memory. Instantly Kanan knew the awful knowledge that she didn't want to face. _Vader_ _ **was**_ _Anakin Skywalker!_

"Force..." Kanan swore. "Your Master." He couldn't have felt more surprised. Ahsoka didn't have to nod. Her look was enough. He tried to imagine how something like that could have happened. He knew that the dark side was always there. It was a constant threat to a Jedi, but the hero of the republic falling to the dark side? It was hard to believe, but obviously true.

"He tried to kill me."

"But he didn't..." Kanan murmured.

"Only because the temple gave way first. Oh Kanan..." A tear began to roll down her cheek, one followed by another and another. "I should never have left him back then." Her calm demeanor began to crack.

"I'm so sorry." He knew that if Ahsoka and Anakin had been bonded like he and Ezra were, this pain had to be horrible, unbearable. "I'm sorry."

"So many regrets..."

Kanan thought about his own regrets as well. Not being able to save his own Master. Not being there for Ezra when his padawan was struggling with the holocron and needed him most. Not killing Maul when he had the chance. "I know about regrets."

He leaned over to embrace her for long moments and she cried, her face pressed against his shoulder. When her grief had temporarily spent itself, he finally let her go. Standing up and pulling her to her feet, he said, "The thing I know is that even though you have regrets, you move on. They don't go away; they never hurt less. Going on, though...it's the way to make that pain mean something." He waited for a response. "My master died during Order 66. I wasn't able to save her. I regret that every day, but I go on. I try my best to teach Ezra the right things. I fight the Empire. Because that's what she would expect of me. That's how I get through the pain."

Ahsoka looked at him searchingly. Deep down inside she felt the inherent rightness of his words.

"Your Master. Skywalker..." Kanan began again. "If he was here...the light part of that which was inside of him...what would he expect of you?"

"To do my best to restore the Republic and kick some Empire ass." She was unsuccessfully trying to blink the tears away. The years she spent as a padawan under Anakin came back to her and she found herself smiling, through the tears. "That I fight every way I can. Until I can't fight anymore."

Kanan nodded. "The fight is out there." He gestured around them, noticing the shafts of sunlight that now broke up the darkness around the windows. It was a good sign. "Come back to us. I'm right beside you. So is Rex, Hera and Ezra." He felt their presences beside him as he began to wake from his trance. The meditation room faded around them.

He opened his eyes, as if he would see once more, but the real world was still dark and murky, until he turned his attention over in Hera's direction. The bright light of her being swirled around her and he smiled. She always felt like home. She grabbed his free hand and squeezed it hard.

"Did you…?" She began.

"Just watch..." He was sure now that Ahsoka had followed him from that dark place in her mind to here.

Ahsoka's blue eyes went wide when she opened them on the world again. The first person she saw was Ezra, standing at the foot of the bed and Rex who was on her left side. Hera and Kanan were on her right.

"Ahsoka?" Rex leaned in, searching her face. He was unable to hide his happiness. "We thought we'd lost you, kid."

She took his hand and squeezed it briefly. "Mmm….Can't get rid...of me that...easily." Her voice was hoarse from not using it for a few days. Finding Kanan's eyes so she could thank him, she suddenly gasped. Hera no longer kept them bandaged, they had healed beyond that point with the help of the bacta pads, so the damage was clearly visible.

"Oh no." She breathed. "Kanan. Your..."

"Yeah. I'm adjusting." He spoke quickly, trying to pass it off. He studied her force signature, and it seemed much stronger than it had been before. "How do you feel?"

"Ready to fight." She said. "Ready to get out of this bed." She sat up, and felt a stab of pain from her wounds as she moved. In addition to the cuts and damage that Vader's lightsaber had caused, she was covered with bruises from the temple collapse. Rex placed hands on her shoulders and gently eased her back down. She did not put up a fight. "Ok, maybe I'm mentally ready, but not physically," She added, "not yet."

Hera took Ahsoka's hand briefly. "Don't push yourself too hard."

Ahsoka nodded, then her eyes fell on Ezra again. "I hear you found me." She said weakly. "Thank you."

He came over to stand near Hera and Kanan. "I'm glad you're okay, Ahsoka. But...how? How did you escape Vader?" Ezra and Kanan had tangled with Vader before, and it had been the scariest thing Ezra had ever done. How could Ahsoka do it alone? It was hard to imagine.

Kanan winced, wishing that Ezra hadn't asked that. It had been a question nagging at him before he knew, though, so he couldn't blame the kid. question

"That's a long story." She said softly, reaching out for Ezra's hand and giving it a squeeze. "It was more like the fight was stopped for us. The temple...it collapsed underneath us. I didn't see him again, but I know he escaped, probably as I did."

So. She wasn't going to let on that she knew who Vader really was. It probably didn't matter—the knowledge that Vader was fallen Jedi Skywalker couldn't change anything anyway, and it could only cause more hurt to Rex, who had been by his side during the Clone Wars.

"Excuse me." The voice of a med droid interrupted their reunion. "The patient needs to be assessed again now that she is conscious."

"We'll be back to see you tonight," Hera said, placing her hand on Ahsoka's shoulder briefly.

"I'm glad you're back." Ezra stepped back waiting for Kanan.

"Thanks Ezra." She murmured.

Kanan said nothing aloud, but Ahsoka heard his voice in her head. _I'm glad you decided to fight._

 _Me too._ She smiled at that, and watched as the Jedi was led out by Hera. She saw how the twi'lek covertly guided him by touch, brushing against his shoulder or taking his hand in her own and subtly navigating the unfamiliar territory. It was easy to see he would be okay with Hera's care.

"It's hard to leave." Rex murmured, more to himself, as he found he couldn't get his feet to move toward the door.

"I'll be right here." Ahsoka said with a hint of amusement in her voice. The droid made an impatient noise and it caused her smile to widen.

"Better get out of here before this rustbucket has a meltdown."

"All right, metalhead. I'm leavin'." Rex growled. Then he turned back to Ahsoka. "It just wasn't right...fightin' this rebellion without you."

She met his dark eyes and nodded, in understanding. "I wouldn't want to fight without you by my side, either."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This was supposed to be an epilogue, but Hera had other ideas. The story does what it wants to do without my say so sometimes. What can you do? :) I want to thank my good friend thewholeworldismagic for reading this for me and giving me her thoughts. She's awesome!**

11

Hera heard the ex-Jedi's normally quiet footsteps as Ahsoka walked across the sand. The Togruta was still hurting, and had probably left the medcenter too early, but no one was going to tell her that. Rex and the medical droid had kept her as long as they possibly could, and Rex had come to visit her one morning in the medcenter to find her gone and back to work coordinating the Rebellion. Having her back alive had seemed a miracle to everyone. It had certainly done wonders for morale around the station.

The Twi'lek didn't turn around, but stayed where she was, leaning on the _Ghost's_ hull and watching her two Jedi spar, the way they'd done every morning since Ahsoka had awoken.

"He's come a long way in a few weeks." Ahsoka said softly as she finally caught sight of them.

"Yes. They both have." She watched Kanan dart and move and then force-jump over Ezra to attack him from behind. His landing was a little unsteady, but he recovered in time to block the blow Ezra struck as he whirled around. She'd watched them spar almost every day since they'd returned. The first few days had been slow...Ezra had gone easy on Kanan as his Master worked on refining his force-sight. Ezra, himself, worked on getting used to the blade Ahsoka loaned him. Now Hera barely saw Ezra holding back at all. The Padawan put his all into most of his attacks, except for when he saw Kanan was momentarily off balance or distracted. Those times were happening less and less as her wounded Jedi continued to improve.

And she couldn't help feeling proud of both of them. They both still had nightmares, but she was hopeful those would fade in time. Often, she would wake and find Kanan gone from beside her. She would fly to Ezra's room in a growing panic and find the two of them. On better nights, she would see them in meditation, which they would do for a few minutes before both heading back to sleep. On bad nights, she would find Kanan with Ezra in his arms, just as if the teenager were a small child needing a parent's comfort. And that didn't even begin cover the nightmares Kanan had.

"The whole base has been talking about Kanan and Ezra." Ahsoka murmured. Hera knew already, of course. The pilots, the soldiers, the mechanics...their hopes had been dashed when Kanan had returned to them blinded. There had been whispering about how could the Rebellion win if three Jedi could be brought down? But then, after Kanan had returned from the second trip to Malachor, bringing Ezra and Ahsoka back, the news had been getting around the base. In fact, Hera had to redirect some of the staff who had come to watch the two Jedi spar, afraid that it might distract their training.

She glanced sideways at Ahsoka as the Togruta went on: "They are symbols of hope for the Resistance. Everyone is inspired by what they do." Ahsoka turned toward her and Hera wondered suddenly if the former Jedi were reading her mind. She'd tried very hard to hide her feelings; she wasn't sure how much she liked Kanan and Ezra being "symbols of hope." She didn't feel as idealistic as she used to be, and now she felt even more possessive of her two Jedi, as well as the rest of the Ghost crew. When they'd just been a rebel cell on Lothal...things had been so much simpler and she'd felt like they were invincible. After the trip to Malachor, she felt too keenly the fragility of life, and it made her want to hang onto them more tightly than ever before.

"Somedays, I don't feel like sharing them with the Resistance." She admitted with a heavy sigh.

"I understand being worried about them." Ahsoka's Jedi-like calmness along with her words began to make Hera's anger flare. She remembered when Kanan had been captured, tortured by the Inquisitor, and Ahsoka had calmly told her they would have to leave him. Oh, so now he was worth something? Now that he was a symbol of the Resistance? She clenched her teeth and spoke, keeping her voice low.

"I'm not really sure if you do. I see them push themselves everyday so that they can get back out there. What if they go before they're ready? I don't mean to blame you for what happened, but they weren't ready for that trip to Malachor. They should have never been out there alone—they needed their team. If they push themselves to go out there before they're ready because of some notion that they've become a 'symbol' of hope or some mistaken belief that they have to be an example for everyone else in the rebellion...Well, you can just forget it. I won't allow it." Hera dropped her head and took a shaky breath, trying to rein in her emotions before she started yelling.

She didn't want to blame Ahsoka, but the feelings were there. At first she'd been so relieved Ezra and Kanan were alive, and so focused on supporting them that she hadn't really thought about what she was feeling—she only dealt with the current crisis at hand. Now that they had some down time, she found her anger and fear building up, spilling over when it wasn't needed. She'd snapped at Commander Sato earlier when he'd asked how Kanan and Ezra were doing and if they'd be ready for missions soon. Missions! The idea of her battered Jedi out there on missions was terrifying at this point. She knew she would have to face that eventuality at some point, but was willing to put it off as long as possible.

One part of her understood what Kanan's desire to go to Malachor without the rest of the team, but the other part of her felt as if Kanan would still have his eyes if the whole team had been together. She wouldn't have to hold Kanan together when he woke up screaming from nightmares about losing his padawan to the dark side. She wouldn't have to see the tears drying on both their faces when he flew to his padawan's side in the middle of the night. Those things were the things that threatened to break her. It was her version of survivor's guilt. They should have all dealt with the threat of Malachor together. She was determined that they would never face something like that alone again. She simply wasn't going to allow it—Ahsoka Tano, Commander Sato or whoever be damned. Her hands clenched into fists, but she bit back her words.

"I'm sorry for what happened. I know it has been difficult." Ahsoka said nothing else, but remained standing there with her head bowed. Hera almost wished she would just say something...that Ahsoka would be angry for once. The Togruta had that calm look on her face that said that the Force guided everything. Well, kriff the Force! It had almost taken everything Hera loved...for nothing, and she was holding a grudge, damn it. Going to Malachor hadn't done a thing to help them take down the Inquisitors. Yes, some of them had been defeated, but . . . the cost had been too dear.

Hera felt her frustration spilling over. She turned away quickly. "Ahsoka, I'm sorry. I've not been myself lately. I'm going to leave before I say something I will regret later." Without further comment, Hera stalked away, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible.

* * *

"We're here." Ezra guided Kanan back to his hallway in the base. Kanan was getting better and better at using his force-sight, but Ezra knew it was tiring and after a training session like they'd just had, Kanan needed his help.

In the time since Malachor, they had grown even closer. Ezra had taken Kanan's lesson about guilt to heart and tried to release his feelings into the Force, as his Master was teaching him. It wasn't always successful; his nightmares attested to that, but he was making progress. Kanan's steady presence always brought back the light when the dark side threatened. Similarly, Ezra and Hera lightened the dark places that threatened Kanan's mind.

"Thanks for walking me back." He turned his face toward Ezra as he spoke. "Good job today, by the way. You didn't pull **many** punches."

"You weren't supposed to notice." Ezra said.

"That's why I'm the Jedi and you're the Padawan. Don't forget it." He chuckled, and reached out, managing to ruffle Ezra's hair. "Hey. I think I'm really getting close to where I need to be with this Force-sight thing. Maybe we'll be ready for a mission soon."

"You're getting a lot better. It's not so easy to surprise you now." Ezra smiled, feeling excited about the idea of doing **something** again. Some days he felt like things would get more back to normal if they actually got out there and did some good, like they had before Malachor.

Kanan began to follow the hallway, using his fingertips to trace his way. He turned to call over his shoulder. "Just wait until you see what I have planned for tomorrow..."

"What?"

"We're gonna spar with each other while also deflecting stun blasts from Chopper AND remotes. Ought to be fun."

He laughed again at Ezra's exaggerated groan as his footsteps moved away. He reached his room, found the keypad and let himself in. He gathered up clean clothes, then found his way down the hallway to the 'fresher. After a shower, he made his way back to his room, counting doors and hallways until he made it back.

He had just started to try to tie back his hair for the second time when Hera came in. "How was your day?" He asked her, able to sense her presence easily. As soon as he asked it, he knew something was wrong. He turned his face to her, his pale unseeing eyes heavily-lidded as he felt for her with the Force.

"Great." She said sarcastically. She sat down on the bed next to him with a frustrated sigh. She then looked over at his attempt to tie his hair back. Without saying anything she took the tie from his hand and, crawling back up on the bed behind him, smoothed back his hair. Her hands were gentle and he felt her sour mood easing up a little.

"Should I ask or not?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Probably not." He felt her arms go around him after she fixed his hair. "I saw your sparring today. You guys looked good out there."

He nodded. "It felt good. I think Ezra and I might be ready for missions again soon."

He felt Hera's body tense next to his. "Oh, really? So soon?" She tried to keep her tone light, but he could feel anxiety rippling through her as she released him from the hug.

"Yeah. Maybe something easy to start with. A good old fashioned milk-run."

He turned his face toward her, and she knew he was trying to feel for what was wrong. "Yeah." She said, not feeling nearly as certain about it as she sounded. "That might be a good first start...when you're ready, that is." She stood up, trying to run through a succession of reasons she could put an end to this conversation before she had to say anything else untrue.

"Hera." He reached his hand out for her.

"I need some time." She said softly, taking his hand. "I'm okay. It's just something I've got to work though."

"We can face it together." He said softly.

"That sounds familiar. Like a talk I gave you before Mal-before you left." She couldn't bring herself to say the name of that evil place again, and she felt guilty for pointing out that he hadn't let her help him face Malachor. Slowly she slipped her hand from his grasp. "You know, Chopper's running some diagnostics on some of the auxiliary systems on the Ghost. I probably need to check on him." She was gone before he could say anything else.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Again, I have to thank my friend thewholeworldismagic for giving me comments and the idea to have Hera feel a little responsible for dragging Kanan into the Rebellion (although we know she shouldn't feel that way). Thewholeworldismagic gave me reactions and comments to this chapter so I could make it the very best for you!**

 **Please remember to leave comments if you like it. There is only ONE more chapter left to this story and I should be updating in a day or two to finish this story off. It has been a lot of fun and very rewarding to read the comments you guys have left. Thank you so much for past comments and future ones! I treasure each one, my friends.**

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12

Jedi patience came in handy in this situation. Kanan gave it three days, during which he paid close attention to Hera. Ahsoka and Commander Sato steered clear of the pilot, while Zeb, Sabine and Ezra tried to talk to her with no success.

Hera was working late again, as she had for the previous three nights. Kanan had made his way back to the _Ghost_ , using his force-sight to walk through the open area from the complex to the ship's location. This had gone on long enough and he intended to find out what was eating at Hera, no matter what he had to do.

She was apparently still tweaking the ship's systems, as always. It was work that never seemed done; Hera always felt that the Ghost could be faster and more maneuverable and so continually worked upgrading the systems. As sparks erupted from the panel in front of her, she let out a string of curses. The Twi'lek had picked up a little bit here and there on her travels and could curse in at least five different languages that Kanan had heard. "Cut the power, Chopper," she yelled. Kanan could sense exactly where she was with his force sight and he made his way to the cockpit.

"Thought you might be hungry." He held up a ration pack in one hand.

She smiled tiredly at his thoughtfulness. "Mmm. Which one is it tonight? Aldaraan Stew or Aldaraan Stew?" A few weeks ago a ship of Phoenix Squadron had lifted ten crates of rations left behind in an abandoned Imperial base. The only catch was that the Rebellion was now the proud possessor of ten crates of freeze dried Aldaraan Stew. Hundreds and hundreds of ration packs of Aldaraan Stew. Obviously it was not a favorite of the Imperial soldiers.

"Can't read it, but I have on very good authority that it **is** delicious Aldaraan Stew." He raised an eyebrow.

She let out a sad chuckle and threw her tools in the toolbox, standing up and brushing at her flight suit.

"You didn't ask what was in my other hand." Kanan had hidden it behind his back, but now brought it out. It was one very perfect meliorun.

"You." Hera stood up and took the fruit from his hand. "Where did you find it? You are the best." She threw her arms around him, kissed him and then accepted the ration pack as well. "Let's go to the galley."

She took his hand and made her way to the dejarik table. She left him there and headed into the kitchen, not noticing that he followed her.

When she turned from the sink, where she'd gotten the water to add to the self-heating meal, she almost ran into him.

"Hera." Kanan was right behind her. The tone to his voice had ceased to be humorous and was now serious and insistent.

"What?" She tried to laugh as if she were playing it off, but it sounded hollow to both their ears and she frowned.

"What's troubling you?" He reached out and connected with her hand. She could see his heavy-lidded stare focused on her and she knew he was using his Force-sight.

"It's nothing." She tried to sound casual.

"Hera, just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't see. The closer we get to going out on a mission, the worse you get. It's not 'nothing.' Something's eating you up, and I want to know what it is...please."

She set the cup of water on the counter and sighed heavily. "The other day, Ahsoka was talking about how the base was looking up to you and Ezra to...get back out there. She said you were a symbol to the Rebellion. And...and...I went off on her." Here it was. Her voice began to hitch and Kanan knew this was the core of what was tearing at her. "I'm afraid for both of you," she admitted. "I don't want you going back out before you're ready because of some desire to be a symbol for the Rebellion, or some misplaced feeling of obligation." She swallowed hard and then went on. "The idea of you and Ezra back out there scares me to death. Sometimes, I just want to take our ship and our family and find some quiet planet to hide out on until this is over." She tried to wipe her tears off of her face. "I know that's selfish, and wrong, and against everything I believe, but sometimes I feel that way."

"No, it's not wrong." Kanan said, wrapping her in his arms. "It's natural to feel that way..." He kissed the top of her head, pulling her more tightly against him. "We've been hurt by Malachor. All of us. It's normal to be afraid to jump back into the maelstrom."

She understood his words. "I should never have let you go there alone. It might have made a dif-..."

He reached up and gently laid his fingertips against her lips to stop her as he shook his head. "We weren't alone. Vader almost killed us, Hera...so much evil in one place...I've never felt anything like that. It was frightening enough. But the only thing that scares me worse is the thought that you could have been there, and I would have been unable to protect you. So you're wrong. There was nothing you could have done." Slowly, as before, his hands reached up to trace the lines of her face, brushing away the tears when he found them.

"I can't help it. I keep thinking you wouldn't even be here, fighting this war, if not for me."

He paused a long time, time in which she studied his almost closed eyes. He always kept them half closed now, as if it could in some way hide the damage that Maul's lightsaber had inflicted. She could see a line of white scar tissue where the bottom of his blue-green irises would have been. "You're right. I probably wouldn't." Hera was unable to breathe as he agreed with her. Did he blame her? She felt a pain through her heart that almost made her double over. "I wouldn't be here with you; I would be drunk in some dive on a backwater planet. Waiting for the day I had enough courage to end it with a blaster to the head because my life meant nothing. Maul thought he beat us when he blinded me. But he didn't. We held on to Ezra when he...when he could have fallen to the dark side. We got Ahsoka back. Yeah, we have scars, but we knew what we were in for when we started this fight.

"The Empire has taken so much from each of us. If we don't fight, then we're saying what they've done is alright. It's not okay that the Empire killed Zeb's people, took Sabine's family, killed Ezra's parents, and…your mother." She looked down as he tightened his grip on her hands. "And you know what I've lost. I'm not willing to accept what they've done and you're not either. I know you Hera Syndulla. We've been knocked down. But we get back up. It's what we do."

She hesitated a moment, then nodded, laying her head against his chest and listening to his heart beating. It was a sound of hope. As long as there was life, there would be hope. She wouldn't stop worrying for him, but she would do what had to be done for the Rebellion. She would again find the balance that had been theirs before Malachor. And when she did, the Empire better be ready because she was going to be seeking to settle a score. With that in her heart, she felt steadier than she'd been since before she watched the Phantom fly away from Atollon toward Malachor.

In an attempt at lightening the mood, she asked, "Hey, when did you go from flirty bartender to hero of the rebellion?"

"When I met you." He studied her deeply and felt the pain she'd held onto fading. She radiated a sadness, but it was tempered with bravery and that peculiar brand of determination that could only belong to Hera. She would be okay.

"Flattery will get you everywhere." She murmured into his shirt.

"Everywhere? Hmm….That sounds nice…" He smiled, a touch of mischief in his voice. "You know, I've had to relearn to do a lot of things without my sight… but I wanted to see if there was one thing I didn't have to relearn..." He leaned in to kiss her hungrily.

She sighed deeply as he moved to place soft kisses against her neck, his breath brushing her lek. "That sounds just like this gunslinger from Gorse I used to know," she murmured.

"Nice guy?" His fingers found the strap of her flight cap and unfastened it, while his mouth continued to plant kisses along her throat.

"No." She couldn't stop a helpless little giggle escaping her. "He was a flatterer and a scoundrel."

"I bet you like that type," he murmured into her skin.

She found that she did like that type, indeed.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This is the last chapter of the story. Thanks to everyone who commented! I wouldn't have gotten through this long story without you. :) Please let me know your final thoughts. I'll see you next time!**

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13.

The morning of their next mission, two days later, Ezra was out before the sun rose on Atollon. The sky had just started turning a lighter shade of bluish purple, and night was on the wane. Sitting and meditating in the natural rock amphitheater-like area where he and Kanan had trained seemed natural. Everything he'd learned with such dedication felt as if it were right at his fingertips. As he opened himself to the Force, he felt strength and calmness flow through him, and he knew instinctively that the mission would go well.

He and Kanan had been training physically since Malachor, but their main focus had been on meditation and the spiritual side of the Force. The more he discovered, the more he found out there was to learn. The old Ezra had seen an end to his training, when he would be a Jedi in his own right, but the new Ezra realized that there would be no end to training. He would always be learning and growing in his understanding and relationship with the Force.

The light-filled sea on which he floated began to grow brighter, the way it always did now when his Master was near. He could hear the careful tread of Kanan's hesitating footsteps, which meant he wasn't using his force-sight fully, probably saving his strength for the mission.

"Do you need help?" he asked, opening his eyes to see Kanan in the near darkness.

"No. But thanks, Ezra." Kanan reached him and gracefully knelt, sitting on his heels in a meditation pose.

They remained meditating in silence for a long time, each taking strength from the Force and each other's presence within it. When the sky started brightening into deep purples and pinks, Ezra opened his eyes.

"What's your question?" Kanan asked, his eyebrow raised.

"How did you? Nevermind." Ezra said, with a sigh. "Ok. Master Yoda sent us to Malachor, for something to help us defeat the Inquisitors..."

"Yes..." Kanan urged, thinking he knew where this was going, but willing to be patient for his padawan.

"We thought that was the Sith holocron..." Ezra said. "But it didn't help anything. And it got left back on Malachor."

"I knew you took it back there, but I left it," Kanan said. "It had caused too much trouble already." He thought back to how the holocron, for all intents and purposes, had been torturing Ezra. If he had only known what kind of damage it would do, he would have thrown the thing out of the airlock as they left Malachor.

"But what did Master Yoda send us to Malachor for, if it wasn't for the holocron?"

"That...is a good question, Padawan." Kanan smiled as he felt Ezra's frustration at not getting an answer. "What does the Force tell you?"

Ezra closed his eyes again and focused. There was nothing amiss. Just a feeling of peace and things being what they should be. "I feel like things are...okay. Like the way they were meant to be."

Kanan nodded. "I do too."

"But that doesn't answer my question. We didn't learn anything that would help us fight the Empire, Vader or the Inquisitors!"

Kanan considered a moment, turning his face towards Ezra. "Think. What did you learn about yourself?"

Ezra frowned. "Nothing." Then his eyes narrowed. "Wait. I learned that the dark side is a lot different than I thought it was."

"Go on..." Kanan said.

"I mean, I know you told me all about it. How it's slippery and always trying to pull a Jedi in. But I didn't understand. Not until Maul. Not until he tricked me and...hurt you." Kanan watched Ezra's Force signature brighten with his enlightenment, and then darken with anger. "But still...you lost your sight to teach me a lesson? Master Yoda sent us for that?"

 _The dark side—it pulls at him. It calls to him. Eventually he will be consumed by it._

No.

Kanan realized he had lost his eyes so that Ezra would learn early, early enough, what the dark side really was so he would not listen to its seduction-not let it turn him. The Zabrak's betrayal of Ezra had taught that lesson well. If blindness was the price for the assurance that Ezra would stay in the light, Kanan was glad to pay it.

"Ezra." He reached out and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Let your anger go."

"No. It's not fair..."

"Ezra." Normally, his voice would have gone hard, a warning tone to it, but this time it was gentle. "Perhaps Master Yoda was simply fulfilling the will of the Force. We do not know. Perhaps I was to learn a lesson here as well. Anger will do nothing to help either of us. Let it go." He put his other hand on Ezra's shoulder.

Slowly, begrudgingly, he felt Ezra attempt to cast off his anger, but it clung to him tightly. The boy tried again to let it go into the warm light-filled sea of the Force around them, and it finally did. As he watched, the Force filled the place left by the dark anger, and a blanket of peace surrounded his Padawan at last.

"I don't understand it all," Ezra said softly.

"Me either," admitted Kanan. "But that's the thing of it. Understanding comes in its own time if you are open to it."

Ezra opened his eyes and focused them on Kanan, whose eyes were closed and peaceful. "I'll try to be patient," he murmured.

"I know you will." Kanan let the boy go, then got to his feet. "I am proud of you."

Immediately, he was knocked back a little from the force of Ezra's hug. It made him smile as he returned the gesture. "Hera, Sabine and Zeb are on their way."

"How did you…? Nevermind." Ezra looked toward the base and in the early, rosy, golden light, he indeed saw Hera walking toward the Ghost, followed by Zeb and Sabine.

"I may be blind but..."

"I'm still a Jedi." They finished together.

"Let's go kick this rancor, kid," Kanan said, placing a hand on Ezra's shoulder and allowing him to lead him to their crew, who were waiting.


End file.
